Closure

Darling im not sure whether you will ever see this blog (becos i may not be telling you about it given that there are actually so little posts accumulated) this is gonna be a long long post i suppose, telling you all my feelings which i dont know whether you care about or not.

Firstly, i must tell you darling i rly love you, probably more than anyone i have loved before. But i know i have to drag myself out of this bad romance, sooner the better because the longer this goes on, the deeper i will fall into this pithole. With you, i cannot feel any love, not even the bare minimum for me to pull through the days without you. I feel that ure just using me as a sex toy really, free sex. Frankly speaking, even when you go KTV or Geylang u also need to pay, but to you, im just as good as free. Outside of the hotel, u treat it as we're just distant friends, i know u made an effort to hold my hand but i also know u feel v uneasy and uncomfortable. It feels that you only want the BEST of me, but not the REST of me. Darling u are my BOYFRIEND, i need recognition and love from you as a boyfriend, we are not just sex partners you know?
I need more attention and effort from you, you told me you will squeeze time to meet me as much as possible in the week, but u merely went for the bare minimum of once per week! Sigh. I know whatever that hurts me will not hurt you, as you said, u have an iron heart, if i exited from your life, im sure u can move on very well, u will not sense the difference in your life, in fact, i think u'd feel a sense of relief that u can finally stop cooking up lies to ur wife.

Remember i asked u before what will happen if i ever left a love bite on you? you told me right in th face that u will break up with me. Did u have any idea how hurt i was at that time? You are always so insensitive towards my feelings. Like how u always msg ur wife when ure in bed with me. You said not being itimate in the public w me is respect for your wife. But do u even respect ME at all? I have to bear all the shit in this r/s. You have the joy in ur life, your wife has her perfect hubby and i have to be the one accomodating everything that happens and provide free sex. Seriously i dont know why am i doing this. Yes i admit i truly love you, but my love is not reciprocated at all i really dno what to do anymore. I have to leave.

Im sorry darling i cant go on anymore.
My last loving to you is to leave you. (hope ure having an enjoyable time now in msia)


With Love,
Stacy
18th June 2011