Intro

Hello darling i dont know whether you'll ever see this blog but today i have decided that i will pen down all my memories with you here. There are just so many things i wish to tell you but i guess i probably dont have the chance. Time is not on our side, there are things i wna tell you but i simply cant do it on the bed, so yeah, here they are...

current mood: missing you.
listening: officially missing you.

You always asked me,'stacy why do you love me? what do you see in me?' I always tell you i dont know what attracts me to you. Truth is i really dont know, but i do have some ideas roughly. Firstly, i have a fetish for older and more matured guys (you must be thinking,'hey im 25!'). I like the fact that ure capable and worked hard for everything you have under your name now (although i dont know what you have under your name exactly). You told me that ur dad was a cab driver and ur mum was a housewife, from then, i admired the way you worked your way up. My dream was always to be with such a man, ambitious, capable and practical. Thirdly, darling i really like the way you look, your eyes, your smile, i love them all, they attract me deeply. I can stare at them my whole life and never get bored. I like the way you smell, the way you hold my hand, the way you act cute, the way ure cute, the way you kiss me, the way u always watch tv, the way... Just the way you are.


However, one point i love and hate is your honesty. Sometimes i wished that you could lie to me. Tell me ure busy with work instead of going home to your wife. Tell me you are smsing your colleague instead of your wife. I also hope that u'd stop emphasizing your daughter is your life (although i know very well, i just dont wna hear it come out of ur mouth so frequently)

I noticed that my msgs always go to your work phone instead of your personal phone. I can completely understand why you do this but sometimes it doesnt feel that good. But i know very well, im always your last priority. But just know ure always my first.

I promised myself that i would never let a guy affect my eating and sleeping patterns anymore after i broke up with chester. For you, i guess i would have to break that promise. You have totally invaded into my life, mess up my daily routines. Its been a long time since i lost appetite and sleep over anyone, anything. But now i cant sleep, cant eat because my mind is filled with so much longing for you.
I think of whether what i'm doing is right, every night. each and every night, my conclusion is that i'm a bitch. But darling dont blame me, for i have sank in too deep. Some nights i cut myself some slack, i allow my mind to wander into the situation when uve divorced, think about how life would be if we had our own family, own kids, fantasize about how it would feel like to sleep beside the man i love every night.

Baby, my heart is tearing apart for my love for you is overwhelming.
And today, I'm officially missing you~


With Love,
Stacy
20th May 2011